They Call Him The Birdman

Many people have been nicknamed The Birdman over the years, but none more fitting than Song Dong of Garden Grove, California.  This guy thought it would be a good idea to try and smuggle 14 live birds on a flight from Vietnam to Los Angeles.

There have been more creative moves in the history of smuggling, Mr. Dong simply had these birds hidden under his pants. His cover was only blown once people started to notice the feathers and bird shit exiting his pant legs. The passengers were not fooled by his claim that it was human shit and that he had been on a feather-heavy diet in recent days.

I don’t know how much money he was looking to make off this job, but I cannot think of much worse than sitting in coach for 12 hours with 14 live birds attached to my legs. You can’t even prop one leg on top of the other without running the risk of breaking a few bird necks.

What Dong will receive is a 10 year sentence in prison if convicted…

Fuggin’ humans. 

Enfuego.

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Cockatoo For Two

America never disappoints. Especially the Deep South. Super especially Lousiana. News out of Evangeline Parish Sheriff’s Office today, down in good ‘ole cajun country, that a 53-year-old female trucker, who REALLY wanted a pet bird, was charged with aggravated kidnapping of two poor young kids. Her motive? Exchanging the 4 and 5-year-olds for a cockatoo. Yes, a bird.

Well clearly not just any bird. That thing is totally tubular.

You tell me what’s worse: kidnapping two young kids and trading them for a cockatoo or selling your 14-year-old daughter for $16,000, 100 cases of beer, and several cases of meat?

The bird will probably outlast the money, meat and beer, but it’s still a toss up in my mind.

Enfuego.