What are you thinking buddy?

You can’t just sit on the curb, this is panda territory.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

A taxi tried to kill me.

Rocksoft no longer endorses Beverly Hills Cab Co.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

That’s what you need to do. Just keep throwing it.

If you don’t know this stud by now, meet Jacory Harris. He’s the sophomore starting quarterback for the University of Miami and he has received a ton of media coverage in the last two weeks.

The kid really had not made it to superstar status, until now. Not only has he made it on to this wonderfully photoshopped cover of NCAA 10, but Rocksoft has taken notice as well.

We wanted to feature a college quarterback from the state of Florida this Thursday and, in all honesty, we could not justify writing anything about that other guy.

That dude is just boring and lame and weird…and awkward. Actually, fuck Tim Tebow.

Yes, you need to produce on the field, but you also need to be a real human being off the field. Like a normal, college human being.

That’s why Jacory Harris is the man. Whether he remains in the Heisman talks this year, or makes a real run for the Trophy next year, the kid is a likeable real dude, and he’s producing on the field.

Plus, the kid’s got style. 

Keep on throwing Jacory.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

“Bro, shut the eff up. I’m trying to…nevermind.”

FYI, the baby on the left is normal-sized. I’m not trying to be weightialist, but the newborn on the right is 19.2 pounds. That seems a little steep.

Word on the streets of Indonesia is that this man-baby is for real. I know one Boston Celtic that will be in need of a new nickname.

The baby is now comfortably situated in a North Sumatran hospital feasting on a diet of smaller babies and cheesecake puree.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

If you are looking to make a statement with your medical accessories, you may want to look into this line of “Help Remedies” by Adam Winski and Richard Fine.  The three varieties available contain acetaminophen tablets for headaches, dramamine for sleep, and bandages for cuts, all of which are packaged in these stylish recyclable materials.

I caught these on display at Moss in the Bazaar at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. You could go there for the superb tapas and liquid nitrogen caipirinhas or just some headache medicine.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Always dressed to impress, Phil doesn't have to look happy to look good.

Why so serious? Cheer up man, it’s your 64th birthday. Don’t be a sourpuss about getting old like your boy Michael Jordan. At least your still pulling in championships.

Straight outta Deer Lodge, Montana son!

Rocksoft has already professed its love for Phil Jackson, but the dude deserves recognition on his 64th. So blaze one up Phil, you got as many rings as you do fingers. Be proud.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Ignore the performances for a second and just sit back and admire the beautiful ensembles the San Diego Chargers and Oakland Raiders sported this past Monday night.

It’s really difficult to write about this game because the result posed more questions than answers about each team. The one thing on which we can all agree, these uniforms need to make another appearance this season.

We got to see a another pair of throwbacks on Monday night in the first game of the doubleheader.  Again quality uniforms, terrible outcome.

With other teams still waiting to sport their AFL throwbacks, we have much to look forward to this season. As well as some more shitty performances on the field…but at least they’ll look sharp.

"I Suck? Yeah, I Suck."

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Bacon seems to be in everything these days. Not just fattening up our favorite food products, but also adding a little something to our sex life.

Now you can clean yourself with a bar of bacon infused soap. No longer do we have to avoid getting soap it in our mouths because now it’s a tasty serving of saturated fat. But if it gets in your eyes? Instant blindness. Use with caution.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Those countless hours of Ninja Gaiden finally paid off for one serious gamer.

Here is a rule of thumb for thieves, don’t break into a residence of some college kid who owns a sword and wants to put it to real-life use. One burglar disregarded this rule and got his ass shanked to death.

This once again proves that it is truly impossible to defend against the Up, Down, Left, Right, A, B, Select, Start combo move.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

So many highlights, I wouldn’t know where to start.

A few things:
1. I will definitely be bumping this in the Nissan Cube
2. Vince is back and the world has forgiven him
3. Sorry Cock Shot, but I think you’ve been dethroned
4. Rocksoft has been sleeping, LaRoushe found this months ago

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Look at granny get down with the zebra print. Who wouldn’t tap that?

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

All I wanted to do was watch Texas @ Wyoming, but instead I get this?

Outrageous demands? Come on, Comcast only wants the souls of a dozen baby seals. I think DirecTV can afford to give that up. Right?

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

This happened…

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

I never thought 7-Eleven was on the cutting edge of meat products, but they really seem to be innovators in this case.

Dragon meat (bone included). Straight wings son. I gotta say, they look a lot smaller than I would have guessed. Maybe this is baby dragon? I didn’t think 7-Eleven sold delicacies.

Whatever the case may be, it’s time to start the day off with dragon wings and a cup of coffee. And make sure you get them “Asian-Style.” I hear dragon from other continents doesn’t taste nearly as good.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Oh what’s up, LSU? Not looking to intimidating there. Kind of looks like your Bayou Bengal was made by a 3rd grader using Kid Pix.

If you’re looking for intimidation in a university logo, look no farther than the Ohio Valley Conference…

Yeah man, yeah! These Tigers are totally gonna kick some ass!

Tennesssee State son. Taking a logo, bootleg then upgrade.

Too bad the results aren’t reflected on the field.

Still gotta give LSU it’s props. Those Tigers can shred on the brass…

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Pictured (from left to right): Chargers, Broncos, Chiefs (as Texans), Raiders, Titans (as Oilers), Bills, Jets (as Titans), Patriots.

Tonight marks the beginning of the NFL season and what would it be without a new installment of Throwback Thursdays?

Luckily the new season has provided us with a ton of material, so we will have a lot to discuss as the season unfolds.

Many of the original AFL teams will dawn their retro unis (see above) when facing each other this season. It is going to be a beautiful thing.

Enfuego (via ESPN and Uniwatch).

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

When keeping it real goes wrong.

Now you know Rocksoft is a huge fan of these Xzibit images, but little did we know there was a website dedicated to this brilliant series.

Yo (Yo Dawg) Dawg, you make my daaaay-eeeyyaayy.

Enfuego (via LaRoushe).

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

French macarons are a recent addition to my life. Before it was strictly the coconut-based deli bakery-style macaroon.

Ever since this watershed moment, the two delectable pastries have been vying for my heart’s love.

I was immediately a fan of the assortment of flavors one could find with these sweet treats (Paulette in Beverly Hills provided the above dozen), but the fresh coconut in a chocolate dipped macaroon still takes the cake. Although the French are determined to win me over with their chocolate dipped macaron ice cream sandwich.

Stay tuned for further developments in this battle for one man’s heart.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

When you plan your trip to the Maldives, be sure to reserve a table at Ithaa Undersea Restaurant. This unique dining experience is sure to get your date wet, while managing to remain dry.

This guy knows what I’m talking about.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

And don’t give me that “actually wikipedia is an open-source encyclopedia, meaning anyone in their righteously bigoted mind can edit it” nonsense.

Shameful.

-$.

Rocksoft Oft.

Visit our Twitter

We don’t know much about the upcoming line of Lego products.  But by the looks of this Frank Lloyd Wright masterpiece, there is something to be excited about.

I’m just glad I finally found a Father’s Day present for Frank Gehry.

No bad sons here…

Enfuego.

Build a loft and Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

(NSFW!)

Suspects are reportedly of height 0 feet and Dependsonyourscreensize inches, weighing around 400 pixels, colored brightly and slow-moving (unless you press down). They are indecent, on the loose and in heat.

Last seen twisting to Huey Lewis & The News.

-$.

It’s just a twittertweet symphony…

Visit our Twitter

Despite the Laker logo that’s still noticeable on Kobe’s shorts, these images still cause thousands to lose sleep at night.

Enfuego.

For anyone who’s a fan of American Psycho, which is easily in my top 5 favorite movies ever, I have an amazing treat for you…

-$.

It’s just a twittertweet symphony…

Visit our Twitter

“No, Dr. Baloney, you won’t feel like this forever.”

Note the token asshole in the back with Flip.

but you know what, with Coco Pebbles sometimes you just forget about limits.

Calz1. (and im back on bullshiiiiiit)

Mars Corporation, this is long overdue. M&M’s are such a solid product and have the capability to take on some interesting flavors, however coconut managed to remain off the list. Until now.

Coconut M&M’s will be available as a limited edition flavor in stores this Summer and early word is that they taste as good as they sound.  

Definitely buying a few one pound bags of these.

On the other hand, the “Transformers” themed M&M’s, not so down…

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Not sure if this is what the founders of the City of Long Beach had in mind when the started building oil derricks like they were going out of style.

Damnson, Daniel Plainview needs to chill the fuck out. Have a drink, not a milkshake, perhaps a tasty bevy from the local Oil Patch Liquor store.

Now all those oil derricks have successfully been converted to liquor stores like the one above and the City of Long Beach continues to have a thriving economy.  We all win.

Enfuego.

Oh so tweet. Visit our Twitter

French Open frontrunner Dinara Safina:

For the good of the sport’s ratings, they let fuglies in like this. Every man in America wants to see the hot girl win, so they tune in to see which beauty can defeat the beast. It’s brilliant showmanship by the French Open, really. Every great narrative needs a villain.

-$.

It’s just a twittertweet symphony…

Visit our Twitter

Your name might be the Magic, but the real Magic resides in Los Angeles.

Tonight the NBA Finals begin and the Lakers face an unlikely, yet formidable, opponent in the Orlando Magic.

The two franchises are most commonly linked by the fact the Shaquille O’Neal played for both teams. Another link being Orlando’s team name and the name of the greatest Laker of all time. But this association is the first that comes to most people’s minds…

The Lakers’ 12th man vs. the Magic’s most unreliable 3-point shooter immortalized by this moment of athletic intimacy.

Not only do the Lakers have the Magic on their side, they got Adam Morrison.

Things are looking up.

Enfuego.

Oh so tweet. Visit our Twitter

I’m pretty sure I just found my new favorite time-killing website. You know those text messages you send and then instantly regret? Or the ones you receive late-night, randomly that make you feel slightly uncomfortable? Well,  someone created a site for you and everyone else in the world to post these classic text messages. You have to sift through them, but there are definitely some golden texts in there.

Some of my favorites so far

(614): She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?

(478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
(410): Sounds like a really classy character….
(478): He is classy. It was argyle.

(512): Can Purell be used as lube?

(661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
(831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you’re making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

(925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said “pish posh, i love surprise sex”

Jsis.

Rockingsoft. Visit our Twitter

Fitz’s Bottling Company in St. Louis makes some of the best Root Beer and Cream Soda in the nation. What’s great about these guys is that they produce much more than the classic sodas, Strawberry Pop being one of these non-traditional flavors.

This stuff is right on par with their classics. If you could liquify a strawberry starburst, carbonate it, and throw it in a bottle, you’d have Fitz’s Strawberry Pop. If that doesn’t sound appetizing to you, then you aren’t patriotic. Stop letting the terrorists win. Thanks.

Enfuego.

Eat, Tweet, Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Do you have a penis? Then you probably like explosions and you probably like boobs. Unless, of course, you also like penis, in which case, this might not be the post for you. Well some creative, probably male, human being created a website that combines both the glorious nature of explosions juxtaposed with arguably one of the best parts of the female body, boobs. While some of the boob shots are truly lackluster, most of them go well next to the mostly intriguing shots of explosions.  Even though the site isn’t the greatest website in the world, I admire the man who came up with such a ridiculous idea. 

Jsis.

Rockingsoft. Visit our Twitter

Part of a balanced breakfast.

Enfuego.

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

That just doesn’t seem fair.

Enfuego.

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

After taking home the UEFA Champions League title last night, it seems the FC Barcelona squad of 2009 is getting way too much attention.

This is an opportunity to give some love to the 1903 Catalan Football Championship winning FC Barcelona team that is often overlooked. They had it all:  strength, speed, good looks, and enviable mustaches.

These guys would have been proud to see their legacy carried on.

Enfuego.

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

“Everybody wants to be cool, but doing it with crack isn’t just wrong…it could be dead wrong”

He wasn’t on crack when he cam up with this? Either way, I love you Pee Wee.

Jsis.

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Today, while checking my Facebook page, I glanced over to the right side of the page where the advertisements live and found a ridiculously incorrect advertisement. Please note the ad says “fly to Japan $460″ and then below, shows a picture of a Giant Panda. Well guess what? The Giant Panda lives in a few mountain ranges in central China, in Sichuan, Shaanxi, and Gansu provinces.  Pandas are from China, not Japan. China and Japan are, in fact, two different countries. While I understand that they can also be found in zoos, I do not think seeing a panda in a zoo in Japan is the highlight of anyone’s trip to said country. Facebook advertisers, check yo shit before you post that, it’s just embarrassing.

Jsis.  

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

Hard as steel for one another.

Serenading each other with their favorite love song…

Enfuego.

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter

New video directed by Shia Lebeouf for the Cage song “I Never Knew You.”

Two things to say here…

(1) Someone needs to incorporate the art of stalking the opposite sex into a reality show, and this video is proof. I mean how real is this shit? I’m hanging on the edge of my seat waiting to see what his next move is, or if she’ll catch him hiding behind that column. As a guy who falls in love with girls on the subway on a daily basis – and I’m for sure not alone here – I propose someone monetizes this form of creepy voyeur entertainment. No way it could ever get creepier than millions of people tuning in to see what Senator Pratt is gonna do next.

(2) Shia Lebeouf might be onto something with this directing thing. His video for Rumspringa’s “Mind’s Awake” was solid and quirky in its own way, and now we can see what he’s capable of with a real budget and a plan.

Blink, and you might miss cameos by Aesop Rock and El-P…

-$.

It’s just a twittertweet symphony…Follow our Twitter

Tokyo Flesh Flash makes some of the freshest watches I have ever seen. They don’t just look amazing, but they display their time each in a truly unique manner. Such wild stuff, and it does not stop there.

This company makes wallets too, some italian leather, snakeskin, and this beauty…stingray leather.

Oh it exists and it costs over $1000. Getting mugged has never been so costly.

Enfuego.

Tweet Hard. Rocksoft. Visit our Twitter