Report: Actor Dom DeLuise Dead at Age 75. Chef Paul Prudhomme Still Alive and Well.

R.I.P. guy on right. Guy on left, keep cooking that bomb Cajun shrimp.

You guys always looked too alike, but this recent sad news should end any confusion from this point on.

Enfuego.

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Am I Smart Because My Mom Ate Shrooms?

Today my boy Schreck alerted me to the blog of one Joe Rogan. In an article from April 2006, Rogan chronicles a trip to the zoo and shares his trite inner-ramblings about humans’ treatment of animals. Among his childish epiphanies, he did reference one tidbit which made me scratch my chin for sec.

Terence McKenna believed that [apes' brain sizes increased] because some of the apes discovered and started eating psilocybin mushrooms. It was his theory that as the climate changed, and the rain forest receded into grasslands, some of the apes started eating these mushrooms as a regular part of their diet, and along the way they developed new ways of thinking.

If you’ve ever done mushrooms, then you probably know some of the logic behind his theory.

What these mushrooms do at high doses is that they give you a completely different way of looking at the world. Like a giant pause button that allows you to step out of a scene, and take a fresh look at it, free from the constraints of normal patterns of thinking, and even your own preconceived notions of yourself.

Now, I’m no scientist, but that sounds like a recipe for evolution to me.

No, you really are no scientist Joe, but you may be onto something here.

Of course, if you’ve ever taken mushrooms and tried to write about what you were thinking, what probably came out on the paper was something resembling a giant, sparkling cat drinking a river’s worth of absynthe from a genie’s lamp. So who knows how productive psychadelics really are to our consciousness?

Drug on, my druggie friends, and steer clear of the horror stories.

-$.

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Dying In The Pursuit of Sculpted Abs

Fuckin’ hardcore bro!

According to the FDA, Hydroxycut is so hardcore it kills.  14 of the brand’s products have been recalled after one reported death and 23 reports of liver problems.

Dudes, the human liver is not supposed to withstand Hydroxycut plus Jagerbombs. Chug all the Muscle Milk, man milk, or whatever you please, but put the Hydroxycut down.

Enfuego.

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Having A Laugh At Swine Flu

No matter what you choose to call it, a lot of people seem to be upset about this thing.

Well, personally I couldn’t be less concerned about it, not until contracting and dying of it becomes more likely than making an NBA roster. So for now let’s have a laugh shall we? This post is dedicated to all those shaking in their space boots about the flu.

See that? Even the cute little piggy has a sense of humor about it – you sneaky devil!

Now if that isn’t the cutest thing… two swine flu victims showing that they won’t let it come between them!

Awwwwwwwwwwww look, they’re tasting each other!!

Double awwwwww

A couple extras: play a game where you ARE the flu attacking the human race; and read a phunnyz chat convo about the flu between two jolly blokes.

See? It ain’t so bad. More like a trend than a flu!

-$.

 

So Long Cheap Seats

"That will be $99, thanks."

The only remaining semi-decent cheap seats in Dodger Stadium have now multiplied in price thanks to a promotional idea involving superstar Manny Ramirez.

The infamous left field pavilion at Chavez Ravine will now be dubbed Mannywood, because of its promixity to the left fielder. Now if you plan to sit in the left field bleachers, don’t expect to find a deal for $5, but rather $50. But it’s all good, you get a t-shirt with your purchase.

Some argue being 350 feet from home plate is no fun, while others enjoy watching Manny make errors from up close. That is why we go to Dodger games, to see Manny field, not bat…right?

Enfuego.

And the next classic movie from my childhood to be ruined issss…..

Drop Dead Fred.

Yep, the wacky, hilarious, creepy and sad movie about an annoying, provocative invisible friend named Fred is being remade.

Not much about the movie has surfaced, except that the man chosen for the lead role of Fred will be Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Russell Brand, who did a great job in that role but I’m not sure how I feel about him filling the shoes of.. uh, whoever the.. Rik Mayall. Yea, Rik Mayall, my hero.

He seems more Scissorhands than Fred.

Here’s hoping it’s at least watchable.

-$.

ZOMG, Michael Jackson is Weird??

Ok so you know how when people go broke they make matters  significantly worse by desperately selling off the ridiculous shit they owned super super publically, showing their ass completely to the public, further disgracing their image and humiliating themselves and their loved ones? And then all those criminal accusations that were sorta ambiguous when they surfaced and resurfaced come roaring back like Mufasa when everyone sees what was inside that person’s house? But then they get embarrassed or whatever, and maybe realize there was another way to make their debt back, and so they cancel the auction once a bunch of people have already seen it?

No? You don’t know what I’m talking about?

Oh, right…. there is only one MJ.

And “the real MJ” was again partially exposed recently when the Beverly Hilton hosted the Michael Jackson collection. Just check out some of these pictures.

“‘If I can only find a white man, with a black man sound, I could make a million dollars’ Sam Phillips, Sun Record.” Ok.

Two original compositions by MJ (top) and Mccully Culkin. Duhh obviously…

Now excuse me while I go back to my regularly scheduled life and pretend none of this ever happened.

Via The Stranger.

-$.

Study Finds Swine Flu Outbreak and Al Pastor Consumption Unrelated

It’s everyone’s favorite taco meat, braised pork, and it hails from Mexico City. This has lead many to believe that the recent Swine Flu scare, or SARS 2009, is directly related to the shawarma of La ciudad de México, but we are here to assure you that THIS IS A FALSE ASSUMPTION.

Rocksoft takes tacos very seriously, and feel as if an attack against al pastor is an attack against us all. Despite Russia suspending imported meat from Mexico, please continue to order your tacos and burritos al pastor.

Enfuego.

Count One For The Womenfolk

On the pitcher’s mound, a 12-year-old girl from New Jersey is perfect.

Mackenzie Brown is the first girl in Bayonne Little League history to throw a perfect game. She retired all 18 boys she faced on Tuesday.

She’ll get to throw out the first pitch at Citi Field on Saturday when the New York Mets host the Washington Nationals.

Edit: Fox News disabled embedding: click here to see the video.

I don’t know about you, but the girl on my Little League team was always tucked away in right field and encouraged to “sleep it off” on Saturdays, even if she wasn’t sick. This chick is clearly another story.

So next time someone tells you ‘you play ball like a girl,’ consider it a compl- … well, I wouldn’t go that far just yet.

Props to the Fox News guy for reading the whole “baseball” Wikipedia entry prior to the interview.

Via ESPN.

-$.

You Never Really Know Someone……

On the surface, Philip Markoff looks like a pretty “normal” guy. He’s clean-cut, preppy, and attends the well-known Boston University as a medical student. But we all know everything is not what it appears, right? Markoff has been given the title of  the “Craigslist Killer” after being suspected of killing Julissa Brissman, a pretty New York masseuse and attacking at least two other escorts in hotels. The 26-year old New Yorker who advertised her services on Craigslist had her head bashed in and was then shot three times. The break came hours after police released new security camera photos showing the clean-cut, 6-foot-tall suspect strolling casually to and from the three crime scenes peering into his Blackberry. 

Markoff was set to marry Megan McAllister, a fellow med student he met during his undergraduate time at SUNY. In fact, a web page was set up dedicated to their planned wedding but has recently been taken down (check out the screen shot below). The two met in 2005, that’s 4 years of being with someone who you didn’t really know. That’s a crazy realization, but has she actually realized this or is she still in denial? 

Those who knew Markoff are either completely shocked or describe him as “weird”, “creepy”, and as having “issues with women”. The latter are obviously the more insightful, intelligent ones.

Jsis.

Getting With the Times ’09

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Dive in, get your hair wet.

Enfuego.

Disney Caught Cheating… Off Itself

They might be considered classics but a web-savvy film buff has found another reason why hit Disney films look so familiar – recycled scenes.

The Swedish teenager, known only as Wetrox, has become a YouTube hit after he spliced together scenes from Disney classics, including Robin Hood and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, to show that the movie giant often used the same scenes in different films.

The technique, known as “video referencing”, saves the studio money as a character’s animation can be traced from another film, skipping the phase of painstakingly copying human movement.

Marked similarities can be found between Winnie The Pooh and The Jungle Book and Robin Hood and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

A Disney spokeswoman refused to confirm that the movie giant used the technique today, telling Times Online that “it’s not something that we comment on”, but the company is thought to have used the tracing technique for decades.

I’ve heard before that in modern narratives, one of seven stories is told over and over again; that essentially we are fooled into believing it’s something new every time, but that we are also pleased in spite of the repetition, because we are trained to have certain expectations for the emotional track of a story. I suppose it shouldn’t be such a surprise, then, that Disney recycled their own material.

Bring back the sexual innuendos, you lazy bastards.

Via TimesOnline.

-$.

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Gorillaz Heart Bananaz

Gorillaz just dropped a revealing documentary entitled “Bananaz” about the geniuses behind the animated concept band and some insight into their creative process.

If it involves Damon Albarn, it’s gonna rock. And it does, so it will.

Watch the full documentary here.

Enfuego.

Dead Heat

Mario Chalmers, pictured left, struggling so tough. Knowing his love for tender greens, Monday couldn't come fast enough.

Last night, the Miami Heat played their first game of the 2009 postseason against the Atlanta Hawks. In anticipation of their stay in Atlanta, and knowing the potential for extracurricular activities, captains Dwayne Wade and Udonis Haslem, proclaimed that there will be no partying and a curfew would be put in place. 

Instead of getting smashed out on the streets of Atlanta, the Heat basketball team decided to get crushed inside Philips Arena by the hometown Hawks.

This “no-going-out” policy yielded a 90-64 loss for the Heat, a playoff record low for the Miami boys, including a total of 7 points in the fourth quarter.

So tune in for Game 2 on Wednesday night where the Heat plan on employing the opposite tactic and will play the game completely sloshfaced.

Enfuego.

Record Highs

Getting high seems to be a theme today and the temperature in Southern California definitely got the memo.

It will be in the 100s in many places around Los Angeles and those lucky fucks who were at Coachella this past weekend had the good fortune of enduring 103 degree heat.

It’s even hotter today. And on a holiday like today, it is really not ideal. I hope we do not read about dead stoners in tomorrow’s paper.

So if you go on a blunt cruise today, roll up your windows and crank the A/C.

And be sure to stay hydrated.

Enfuego.

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