Star Wars pwns Star Trek

OK nerds, it’s settled.

Enfuego.

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And the next classic movie from my childhood to be ruined issss…..

Drop Dead Fred.

Yep, the wacky, hilarious, creepy and sad movie about an annoying, provocative invisible friend named Fred is being remade.

Not much about the movie has surfaced, except that the man chosen for the lead role of Fred will be Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Russell Brand, who did a great job in that role but I’m not sure how I feel about him filling the shoes of.. uh, whoever the.. Rik Mayall. Yea, Rik Mayall, my hero.

He seems more Scissorhands than Fred.

Here’s hoping it’s at least watchable.

-$.

“My Style Is Impetuous, My Story Is Documentarious…”

This might give Stallone a run for his money for shoulda-got-Best-Picture, when next year’s Oscars are said and done.

If this movie doesn’t intrigue you, you’re not human.

-$.

An Earth Day Message From The State Trooper

The Earth Day lesson is…litter. It creates jobs and generates revenue.

Enfuego.

Gorillaz Heart Bananaz

Gorillaz just dropped a revealing documentary entitled “Bananaz” about the geniuses behind the animated concept band and some insight into their creative process.

If it involves Damon Albarn, it’s gonna rock. And it does, so it will.

Watch the full documentary here.

Enfuego.

What Happened to Your Discretion/Career?

Everyone has wondered what the hell has Nicolas Cage been thinking the past few years. According to movie critics, his movies lately have been straight dog shit.

Something looked out of the ordinary as I drove past one of my favorite theaters. Apparently they could not wait to pull Cage’s latest classic, “Knowing,” off the reels, so they went ahead and got the largest label maker known to man and pasted the replacement movie (which I hear isn’t bad) over Cage’s marquee.

Sad dude, real sad. I thought I would recap the highlights of Nic Cage’s Academy Award winning career…

Raising Arizona (1987)
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
The Rock (1996)
Con Air (1997)
Face/Off (1997)
Snake Eyes (1998)
8MM (1999)
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Adaptation. (2002)
Matchstick Men (2003)
National Treasure (2004)
Lord of War (2005)
The Weather Man (2005)
The Wicker Man (2006)
Ghost Rider (2007)
Next (2007)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Knowing (2009)

What a downward trajectory.

Personally, I am anxiously awaiting his next few films…he’s doing voiceovers in the upcoming animated movies G-Force and Astro Boy.
So badass.

Fire your agent holmes.

Enfuego.

Coming Soon: The Greatest Movie of All Time

Do I care what this movie is about? Hell no.

If there was any question about whether I was going to see this flick, Stallone’s body sealed the deal…

…and boom goes the dynamite.

If you ever need a solid endorsement for HGH, it is this picture. The man is 62 years old. 

Enough about Sly’s physique. The movie, “The Expendables” is written, directed, and starring the man himself.

But what you don’t see here is the amazing rumored cast.  Are you kidding me?!?!

First off, Ivan Drago and Rocky Balboa reunite.
Second, The Governator.
Third, one WWF and one UFC heavyweight champ.
Fourth, Mickey Rourke.

That is just a few of many rumored cast members.

This could be epic…deploying April 23rd, 2010.

Enfuego.

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WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, FINALLY!!!

I don’t know about you, but I have been eagerly awaiting the trailer for Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things are. Back in the day, there was a bunch of hype on the film when a clip of test footage was leaked, however it was short and only partially satisfying. Finally, the trailer for the film was released this morning and it looks AMAZING! I have to say, the Arcade Fire song enhances the childhood memories that will come rushing into your mind as you watch. I can’t wait! 

Jsis.

Sucking Blood and Smoking Stoges

 

Robert Pattinson, the breakout star of Twilight, is gracing America with his presence on the new issue of GQ magazine. However, in one of the photos inside the issue, Pattinson can be seen smoking a cigarette. Now, I’m not the biggest fan of all of those anti-smoking ads by any means, but to have someone who is marketed to young tweens (who else enjoyed Twilight?) smoking, while attempting to evoke some sort of sex appeal seems wrong.

Was it really necessary to have him smoking in the photo? It’s one thing to get a candid shot of a star smoking but smoking during a photo shoot is just gratuitous.

Jsis.

4 Major Food Groups

Here at Rocksoft we try and keep our 30 loyal viewers healthy and to help remember your 4 major food groups is Pauley Shore…

“No weeeezin the Juice” 

Thanks Stoney 

z.

Rocksoft Repertory II: Fantômas

In 1911 a fictional criminal called Fantômas comes on the scene in France. He is the subject of volumes of written work eagerly devoured by the public. This guy Fantômas represents the transition from the traditional villain of 19th Century Gothic novels, to the modern psycho-killer mold. Yes, this dude is no joke:

“He is totally ruthless, gives no mercy, and is loyal to none, not even his own children. He is a master of disguise, always appearing under an assumed identity, often that of a person whom he has murdered. Fantômas makes use of bizarre and improbable techniques in his crimes, such as plague-infested rats, giant snakes, and rooms that fill with sand.”

Pretty cool. So in 1913 this guy Feuillade begins a film serial using the Fantômas character. In 2009 I watch the first episode and like it.

11 out of 12 Angry Men

Watchmen 1 – Critics 0

The Watchmen movie has been catching some heat upon its release this past weekend and it is unfounded criticism… 

Two suggestions for anyone considering seeing this movie:

1. See it in IMAX. You will already be paying too much to see the movie, and the extra few bucks is worth it. This is one of the more visually stunning movies to date, so do not deprive yourself of the full experience.
2. This one’s important. Read the book. Do it. You may think it will be a fairly quick read being that it’s a graphic novel, but it is a very dense and substantive story. Not to mention a great story. I can not imagine sitting through this film having not read the book first. It would not have made much sense, nor been very tolerable. However, having read it a few years back, the film was thoroughly enjoyable.

If you go in with the right expectations and preparations, this movie should blow you away. So do it up right.

Enfuego.

WAYNE LET’S RUN AWAY

Now this is a funnier use of the YMCA…

Do it Do it Do it.

z.

Rocksoft Repertory: Night of the Demon

In this new Rocksoft series I will briefly review movies that I am currently watching, complemented by a small clip of my creation for your enjoyment.

Last night I watched a movie called Night of the Demon (1957) by Jacques Tourneur. Started out suspect, but I ended up liking it. Ancient Runic symbols, creepy British people, overall a low-budget triumph.

Now, I would like to share something. It’s like a preview, but it Rocks Softly. I think about 30 seconds should be fun.

Rating: 5 out of 7 Samurai

rvg.

What the hell is going on out there??

So I have been sitting here watching “The Legend Of Bagger Vance” for the past 40 minutes… and am more confused than I was during high school Spanish. Holy shit. What the Fuck is the deal? Will Smith is the worst caddy and Matt Damon is awful at golf. Happy Gilmore is a better golfer hands down. Why is Matt Damon’s character, who’s name sounds like Jr. even in this tourney, granted I started watching this movie in the middle and there is probably a reason for this… I am beginning to think that some one here is not a ghost. Also why are all the caddies Indians or African American, is that really how it was? Oh man this one has me for a loop.

Unclear what this has to do with anything…

but hope you enjoyed

Fucking Bagger Vance ruined the high I had from watching Independence Day…

(On an odd side note Bagger Vance on HBO2 Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore are also on, Golf movie extravaganza, where is Tin Cup when you need it)

z.