A taxi tried to kill me.
Rocksoft no longer endorses Beverly Hills Cab Co.
Enfuego.
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Archive for the Events Category
Funny Thing Happened On My Way To The Gym
Posted in Events with tags Accident, bad drivers, bike, Car, collision, Los Angeles, near death experience on September 26, 2009 by Enrique EnfuegoYou Wouldn’t … Would You?
Posted in Events, Sports with tags Beauty and the Beast, Dinara Safina, French Open, hotornot, tennis, Would You, would you hit on June 4, 2009 by Ash $. FiscalFrench Open frontrunner Dinara Safina:
For the good of the sport’s ratings, they let fuglies in like this. Every man in America wants to see the hot girl win, so they tune in to see which beauty can defeat the beast. It’s brilliant showmanship by the French Open, really. Every great narrative needs a villain.
-$.
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Manny ‘Testes’ Positive
Posted in Events, News with tags A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez, archaeologists, Baseball, Dodgers, estrogen, fertility drug, HCG, impotence, Manny Ramirez, MLB, steroid test, Steroids, suspension, testes, testicles, womanny ramirez on May 7, 2009 by Ash $. FiscalSomething was definitely awry today. When archaeologists study my life thousands of years from now, they will read my gmail chat transcripts and be befuddled when they come to this day:
Eric: dude
dude!
me: i know man i knowNicole: damn
me: yeaAlexandra: did you read that???
me: yeame: dude manny
Sent at 12:08 PM on Thursday
Jordan: so sad man
Sent at 12:32 PM on ThursdayCrash21071: fucking manny
Sent at 2:33 PM on ThursdayMikey: oh manny
me: yup
Hopefully said archaeologists will realize that Manny was just being Womanny.
Poor guy.
-$.
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Having A Laugh At Swine Flu
Posted in Events, News with tags Chat, comedy, contraction, do i have swine flu, funny, H1N1, Israel, laugh, LOL, lolcats, lolswine, love, mexico, nba, odds, origin of swine flu, pandemic, probability, sense of humor, Space Boots, swine flu, Swine Flu game, victims on April 30, 2009 by Ash $. FiscalNo matter what you choose to call it, a lot of people seem to be upset about this thing.
Well, personally I couldn’t be less concerned about it, not until contracting and dying of it becomes more likely than making an NBA roster. So for now let’s have a laugh shall we? This post is dedicated to all those shaking in their space boots about the flu.
See that? Even the cute little piggy has a sense of humor about it – you sneaky devil!
Now if that isn’t the cutest thing… two swine flu victims showing that they won’t let it come between them!
Awwwwwwwwwwww look, they’re tasting each other!!
Double awwwwww
A couple extras: play a game where you ARE the flu attacking the human race; and read a phunnyz chat convo about the flu between two jolly blokes.
See? It ain’t so bad. More like a trend than a flu!
-$.
ZOMG, Michael Jackson is Weird??
Posted in Art, Events, Music, News with tags Auction, Bad, Children, creepy paintings, criminal accusations, HIStory, humiliation, Julien's Auctions, Mccully Culken, Michael Jackson, MJ, MJ's bitch, Neverland, Peter Pan, Thriller on April 28, 2009 by Ash $. FiscalOk so you know how when people go broke they make matters significantly worse by desperately selling off the ridiculous shit they owned super super publically, showing their ass completely to the public, further disgracing their image and humiliating themselves and their loved ones? And then all those criminal accusations that were sorta ambiguous when they surfaced and resurfaced come roaring back like Mufasa when everyone sees what was inside that person’s house? But then they get embarrassed or whatever, and maybe realize there was another way to make their debt back, and so they cancel the auction once a bunch of people have already seen it?
No? You don’t know what I’m talking about?
Oh, right…. there is only one MJ.
And “the real MJ” was again partially exposed recently when the Beverly Hilton hosted the Michael Jackson collection. Just check out some of these pictures.
“‘If I can only find a white man, with a black man sound, I could make a million dollars’ Sam Phillips, Sun Record.” Ok.
Two original compositions by MJ (top) and Mccully Culkin. Duhh obviously…
Now excuse me while I go back to my regularly scheduled life and pretend none of this ever happened.
Via The Stranger.
-$.
The Question Is…. Would You?
Posted in Events with tags abs, binary code, Boston Marathon, curves, hotornot, Kara Goucher, Marathon, Olympics, sexy, Would You on April 20, 2009 by Ash $. Fiscal
Today’s winner of the Boston Marathon, Kara Goucher.
Would you?
After doing a little research on this galzilla, I’m leaning about 70% towards yes with a chance of wind (for binary would-you’s out there, that’s a 1/1). Though she’s got more right angles than she does curves, but you’re guaranteed a flat stomach and more-than-capable athleticism.
She might even cook you some egg whites and a protein shake in the morning.
-$.
Record Highs
Posted in Events, News with tags 4/20, april 20th, Asher Roth, asleep in the bread aisle, blunt cruisin', California, coachella, four twenty, heat, heat wave, High, hot, Los Angeles, pothead, record, stoned, Summer, temperature, weather, Weed on April 20, 2009 by Enrique Enfuego
Getting high seems to be a theme today and the temperature in Southern California definitely got the memo.
It will be in the 100s in many places around Los Angeles and those lucky fucks who were at Coachella this past weekend had the good fortune of enduring 103 degree heat.
It’s even hotter today. And on a holiday like today, it is really not ideal. I hope we do not read about dead stoners in tomorrow’s paper.
So if you go on a blunt cruise today, roll up your windows and crank the A/C.
And be sure to stay hydrated.
Enfuego.
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Anybody in Ohio Need a Job?
Posted in Events with tags bankrupt, broke, craigslist, downtrodden, ohio, unemployment, unemployment rates, vagiclean on April 9, 2009 by Ash $. Fiscal
Weekend Update: My Brother’s a Son-of-a-Bitch
Posted in Events, News with tags Asher Roth, bitchface, Evan Turner, Key Club, New Kingdom, pussy bevvies, Tyrone Calzone on April 4, 2009 by Enrique Enfuego
I wake up and I find this. So I left a little note.
What you don’t see is the small portion that was actually consumed…
…just the necks.
I guess you have to take it easy when you have a Sunday night show.
No man, no excuses. I’m ashamed.
Enfuego.
Rockysoft Mountain Retreat
Posted in Events with tags beer, blue mustang, brofest, bromance, broncos, Colorado, Coors Light, denver, mile high stadium, Rockies, tap the rockies, vacation on March 27, 2009 by Enrique Enfuego
Half of the Rocksoft crew will be away this weekend on a team-building exercise/ski trip/sloshfest in The Centennial State. We hope to report some valuable news, events, cover art, and possibly some Rated R material.
Some of our goals include: paying homage to these guys and these guys, attempting to get a mile high, riding the blue mustang and engaging in a lot of this…
Enfuego.
Cupcake Scavenger Hunt 2009
Posted in Events, News with tags contest, cupcakes, double true, google, lazy sunday, Los Angeles, maps, pastries, SNL on March 26, 2009 by Enrique EnfuegoGoogle Maps has some interesting interactive maps, some more morbid than others. Here they have collaborated with the Los Angeles Times to display this year’s entrants in the 2009 Los Angeles Cupcake Challenge.
If you are in the LA Metro Area jonesing for the frosted pastry, you now know where to look.
Enfuego.
Well… That’s Just Unfortunate…
Posted in Events, News with tags 1977, BBC, Confession, James Brewer, Jimmy Carroll, murder, Tennessee on March 24, 2009 by Ash $. Fiscal
Yeah, that photo is pretty unfortunate in itself. But the story behind it is also shockingly inopportune:
A US man who thought he was dying and confessed to having killed a neighbour in 1977 has been charged with murder after making a recovery, US media say.
James Brewer could now face the death penalty over the unsolved killing in Tennessee 32 years ago, reports say.
Convinced he was dying after a stroke, Mr Brewer reportedly admitted to police he shot dead 20-year-old Jimmy Carroll.
The 58-year-old, who had fled Tennessee after the killing, was arrested after his condition improved, reports say.
“He wanted to cleanse his soul, because he thought he was going to the great beyond,” said police detective Tony Grasso, who interviewed Mr Brewer in an Oklahoma hospital, The Oklahoman website reported.
A word of advice to anyone feeling guilty about having committed a murder: when the angels come down to escort you to heaven, ask for their ID’s before you go telling the whole world about it.
You really, really gotta be sure.
-$.
Spring Break at STANS WOO HOO
Posted in Events with tags 2O5 Chrystie, Girls Gone Wild, Hot Babes, Self Promotion, Spring Break, Stans, Titties on March 11, 2009 by Z TRAIN
HERE IT IS. Come one come all, Stans Spring break… More slutty then ever… 2O5 CHRYSTIE…
z.
STANS FLYER
Posted in Events with tags Dance Party, Dylan Lynch, Keegan Gibbs, Nightlife, Satns, Snow Day, Winter on March 4, 2009 by Z TRAINLadies and gents, I know all of our viewers hit refresh every 30 seconds waiting for me to post the new Stans flyer, so wait no more because here it is…
This one is dope. Thanks to mother nature for dropping a foot of snow on us Sunday night and making this one possible. Also thanks to Keegan Gibbs and Dylan Lynch for making it happen.
Come dance bitches… at the party for the people by the people.
z.
